08.12.2003 - 3:26 pm

I can't shake the bad dreams I've been having the past few nights. I always wake up totally groggy, and even more totally depressed.

On the 10th my old band played in Colorado Springs, and tonight, they're playing in Denver, and I was thinking about them before I got to sleep last night. In my dream, they played in San Diego without telling me. I showed up not knowing they were going to play, and I was very hurt that they didn't call me to tell me. They played a new song, which was very good. I felt a stab of jealousy. I remember feeling that I really wanted to see Tony and Dillon, but Dillon never called me after they left San Diego, even though we were supposed to hang out. I just cried when I realized they were long gone.

Waking up after that isn't easy when I realize they are long gone, and I messed up by not making it up to Colorado this weekend.

Stupid girl. Grow up already.

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