The dream that never ends: I don't remember exactly how it started, but I was with some friends from high school and we robbed a car (I think it was at my coaxing that we did it) and drove around a little town. But in the midst of all this, we ended up killing a bunch of people. So we are being chased in the car by the cops, everyone is scared shitless, and I am the ringleader. The car breaks down at the bottom of a hill so we all jump out to run away. We all get away and we're running around town dodging cops, who are all on foot. I was doing pretty good, but then I think I started thinking about what life would be like as an outlaw; I'd have to change my name, move away, if I tried to get my Ph.D they'd finally catch me. So basically life sucks either way, I might as well give up. This town is by the beach. I'm at the northeast end of the town at an apartment complex on a second floor ledge and I look down and there's a bunch of Mormon kids from high school (Brian, Brady, etc.) and they see me and I get the feeling it's not good. So I jump down and run across a field, but the cops down at the south end see me, so they start running after me. I make it to a bike trail at the edge of a cliff overlooking the beach, it's sunset and I'm running. But there's really nowhere to hide and I'm so tired. The mormon kids catch up to me first, they thought I had a gun and they were going to shoot me. It was just my cell phone. They told me to lie down so they could handcuff me and as I lie down I look over to my left and there is UCLA and Prof. Klug is so disappointed in me. How could someone with so much potential be a robber and inadvertent murderer? And he just keeps shaking his head. I don't exactly remember but my mom and Paula were there. My mom was so disappointed I figured I'd never talk to her again. And Paula was just yelling at me for fucking up. I'm now in jail. There are no bars around my room, it's much more like the dorms. I'm in a large room with about eight other young college type guys. We all have a tv......but it's so hard to get to bed with all the noise. I'm o.k. with doing hard time though, considering I earned it. I get the feeling it's only five years though? Somehow I get a leave from the jail because my mother picks me up to go to a family wedding. She is very angry and not speaking to me. We get to the place and it's a nice day, sunny out, but I'm too ashamed to go in. So I sulk around outside. I started washing my different aunt and uncle's cars though, some kind of pennance? I washed two big Hummers. My aunts Ann and Eileen came out to try and talk to me, but there was just this chasm because they couldn't possibly understand what I went through or why I did it or how I feel now. Then some old guy rolls by on the sidewalk in a wheelchair and claims I owe him some hours of work so I had better follow him. This was my chance to blow up, "No way man, fuck you, get out of my face, I don't owe you anything." Then my mom came out and yelled at me for yelling at him. We got in her car and she was driving me back to the jail. Then I woke up. With a damn headache. |