I feel like shit for being a jerk. But these kind of situations are rocks and hard places for me. Being honest with someone, and knowing it will hurt them is the hard place. Knowing that I don't feel the same way as someone is the rock. So instead of doing anything I just cower like a loser. And probably end up being more of a jerk than by just being honest right away. I don't want anyone to like me because I'll always screw it up. Dating is fun and exciting, but deep down I really hate it and how it makes me feel and act sometimes. Is this what a deep-rooted fear of commitment sounds like? Or is it really the fact that I am falling for someone far away? Am I falling for someone far away because it's easier and so much less scary? Is it really that much easier to like someone who I can't really have? Am I one of those jerks? Listeing: The Decemberists |