A big regret that keeps growing (despite my disdain of regrets) is that I should have lived on campus the last year of school. I spent the first three years not having to worry about buying and making food, getting to school even if the car is broken, and paying bills. I was way more involved in things on campus...and it was way more positive than the year I spent in an apartment with Alan/Dave/Xavi. I had to quit the radio station because I was too busy working to pay the bills and commuting two hours a day. It was much easier when everything on campus was a ten minute walk away. I had so many more friends, so much more time to hang out and make amazing those friends. But I messed up. I ended up drifting away from those people because I had no time for them. Something I will never ever admit to my dad, since he tried to tell me moving out wasn't the best thing. I am starting to wish I could take back that last year and do it all over. I have a feeling it would've ended up much more positively, and I would've walked away from Miami without hating the city. There are a lot of things I lost last year, when looking back, that weren't worth losing. I lost a lot of really good friends, and I gained a cynicism unknown to me up until now. The only great parts about last year was Adore Miridia and Natural Food Market, which I could have had either way. This is why I hate regrets - I get this feeling lodged in me, even though I can't change anything, and it's pointless to keep looking back. And then I realize that this is what life is going to be like, and more so the more time I live. I'll look back at all the great memories and wish life was always like that. Like walking across campus with my best friend at night talking about what is most important to us, or playing in a band with people I admire enough to commit my future to, or spending a week outside of Gainesville, or doing a radio show where I get to play three hours of my favorite music. The only reason I look back and want that is because the present isn't remotely close to that. Listening: Blowing Up Babylon and Hittin' Grizzlies (my old bands) |