So someone reads this pretty regularly. That's kinda funny. I overdrew my checking account by 0.78 cents apparently, and there is a $30 overdraw fee at Bank of America. Fuck that. I'm closing the account tomorrow. I'll give them the 0.78 cents, but there's no way that's worth $30. I've been wanting to change banks for a while now, but this is the motivation I needed. A bank is supposed to be a place where your money is kept safe, but I have paid so many fees over the past two years (no overdraw fees though), it's ridiculous. It's weird that I overdrew though, I usually have a pretty good estimate in my head of how much I had. If you had asked me yesterday how much was in there, I would've said about $50. I fucked up. Negative 0.78 cents. Oh well. I hope they don't send out a shark to collect their damn $30. I'm going to bitch and hopefully they'll let it go. I came to the conclusion that I'm pretty much a loser, and my life kinda stinks right now. I've gotta get things straight soon. I was thinkig today that I could work some part time job for the next year or so, and save up money for an extended trip to Europe. The only problem is, I have to have enough saved up to pay for my loan repayments while I'm gone, and I need the money for the trip. I was reading through my written journal last night, and all these indecisive thoughts started popping up about a year ago, and I really did nothing to figure them out. I ended up just taking the easiest way out by moving home, convincing myself that it was the right decision. I remember how much I wanted to go to MIT. I remember how happy I was when I found out I got in. Should I really have let money stop me? Should I let money stop me from going to UCLA in September?? I still have the chance to go. I was telling my brother, I really don't feel that strongly about anything, so it stops me from pursuing something with all of my energy. When I decided I wanted to go to college, that was the one goal I strived to pursue, and it turned out to be amazing. When my brother decided he wanted a race car, he went out and got the Prelude, and put the time, money, and hard work into making it the car he wanted. I'm not sure why, but I really don't have an intense desire for something right now. Until I do desire something, I doubt I'm going to find a job, or end up in grad school, or go to Europe, or find a band again, or find that elusive fulfilling relationship. Listening: Pretty Girls Make Graves |