So yeah, a few hours turned into a month. But the good news is, I finally scanned in some pictures from January in California. So I wasn't really lying. The world is a crazy place to live in right now. I know I'm not a political scientist, I'm not a poet or a writer, and I'm still pretty naive about a lot of things, but I'm scared to be a part of current world society. I'm not going to go on about what an idiot Dubya is, or how hypocritical the U.S. is being in "freeing" the Iraqi people, how innocent people are dying every day and how corporate America is exploiting the people and resources of the world for its own end (which is sadly devoid of any meaning). I don't want to force my thoughts onto other people because that would make me a hypocrite as well. But I do wish people would wake up and realize that even though you and I aren't fighting a war in Iraq or exploiting third world countries for cheap labor, we support that every day not only through our inaction, but by buying products from corporations that use exploitations as a means to increase profits for a few greedy board members. I don't even want to get into SUV's. But it's more than that...I think people honestly don't care. If their new SUV makes them look good, that is honestly the only reason they want it, and I could shout 'till I'm blue in the face giving positive reasons why people should play a more active role in decisions as a consumer. THEY JUST DON'T CARE. I take the bus every day, and I see people that before thirty are tired of life, people that are angry at the world, just looking for something to set them off, people devoid of a meaning for their life. And I don't mean religious - I myself am agnostic, I think organized religion has caused a lot of the problems in the world - I mean a purpose, something deeper than the new Calvin Klein spring collection, or J. Lo and Ben's fight last night. If people would stop wanting this, it wouldn't exist. The persistence of shallow crap in our society is a testament to the shallow people inhabiting it. What is it that has made people so angry and violent? I turn on the news every night to get a slice of reality and sometimes, I end up crying like a baby. It's not the kind of crying that comes from personal sadness or anguish or whatever, it's a crying that I've never experienced before: because I'm scared of what could happen tomorrow when I walk outside. Who will be shot in a robbery tomorrow? How many people will die on the turnpike today? How many people are cheated, lied to, screwed over by the person next door? Maybe I'm just being fatalist about it, but I can honestly say I'm scared when I think about it. I'm just like everyone else though - I can turn my mind off if I'm feeling tired of reality and turn on the TV to watch Seinfeld reruns, and everything is alright again. I can also become easily angered just like every person out there when things don't go my way. Sometimes I think the world revolves around me. It's sad to excuse it on the way I was taught by society, but in a way, that's true. But I acknowledge that I do have faults that probably hurt the people around me. And I am trying to stop seeing the world through the American goggles - ME ME ME! I decided to go to UCLA next year. I would much rather be around my family and a few close friends than in a brand new city. The forecast for Boston today was 36 degrees. When I hear that, I know I made the right decision. I've turned off the part of me that wants to stay in Miami, because in the long run, it probably wouldn't have been a good decision. I got comfortable with love. It's going to hurt beyond words to leave him. But that's life...what a stupid saying, but how much it can mean. |