What a waste of a day. Our professor changed the group meeting from 1-3 pm. to 3-5 p.m. And e-mailed us this morning to let us know. So I was on campus long before I had to be. That's what I get for setting my alarm. And of course I was so jostled by the change of meeting time that I didn't get anything done. And we finished so late that by the time I caught the bus and rode home, it was well past 6 p.m. I had to make dinner and by then it was too late to even think about going to either show (Microphones @ Koos and Death Cab/Nada Surf @ Henry Fonda). So in conclusion I think I'm going to bed. I've decided I'm going to finish my masters this year even if it kills me. I'll keep renting with Ronald over the summer so that Corey can stay here when he visits, and I'll probably move home again at the end of the summer and go to CSUSB to get my credentials. I'll work part-time and save up money to move when I get hired as a teacher. Tentative plan of course. You always hear how hard it is to deal with someone else's disappointment in you, but it's even worse when it's your own disappointment. For some reason I have this picture of me being "grown up". In it I am very successful, and over the past few years I seem to have defined success as getting a Ph.D. and being a professor or something along those lines. And although I'm realizing that it would probably be bad for me to go through the years it takes to get the Ph.D. (research is just not my strong point) it's hard not to feel the disappointment that comes from not living up to expectations - this time mine. On the one hand I know I will be happier doing something else, but I still have this mental picture of what I thought I should be doing with my life. I have to make the two come together before I'll be happy with anything I choose to do. Listening: Tommy Guerrero |